moment...

why is it so hard to live in a moment?

a moment that is yours - and in that moment, you are filled with happiness and utmost love. this moment is an escape from reality. when everything around you crumbles and becomes difficult to bare, you remember 'your moment' which helps you regain your sanity.

after time passes...the moment seems insufficient to sustain a balance between sanity and insanity. the life you were once familiar with changes completely and it's hard to understand what is real and what is not. that moment - seems small and insignificant for us to hold on to. what makes us smile through the tears - or helps ground us?

i can't even say that there is one single thing in my life right now that i know will stay the same and will help me regain my balance. from one moment to the next everything seems different - and i'm filled with uncertainty. i believe that my fear - mainly comes from 'the unknown'. i can't embrace uncertainty, for it is my enemy. i just need something that is mine, that i can have faith and confidence in - something i know will hold me down when i'm about to fly away.

give me something real...

because a moment isn't good enough anymore...

stereotypical!

thought of the day:

irony; we always want to know more about what's going on around us - but when we find out, we wish we hadn't known.

it's quite strange how the amount of information or knowledge that we have, can permanently change someone else's life...

something peculiar has been on my mind lately, and i'm not so sure why it has been bothering me this much.

it has come to my attention that we - women, are mean, manipulating, ungrateful, winey human beings that will never be able to be completely satisfied. it doesn't matter how much effort a man may put on the table in a relationship - it just won't ever be good enough. they may realize their past mistakes and do everything in the world to change and be a better human being; we'll just end up criticizing their actions and remind them of all their past mistakes. how does one ever excel if one is dragged back into the dump that they were in?

why is it in our nature to always be ungrateful? why can't we learn to appreciate all the good that is in our lives - the good that is right there in front of us. nitpicking! just because we're women, does it mean that it's okay to constantly complain and whine about all the things we don't have? we don't have to live up to our stereotypes, instead we should be proving everyone wrong. let's outgrow our DNA of being indifferent to our man's feelings...and show them that we do notice all their effort. it doesn't matter if they didn't do something exactly the way we wanted them to - they did it, and tried as well!

i'm tired of watching everyone around me complain about all the things that don't matter. when bigger problems creep up on you - the minor details - well, just seem minor. you forget all the things that made you upset and understand that there are bigger fish that needs to be fried.

i don't like fish though...

*SIGH*

thought of the day: it's weird how when things start falling into place...it just takes that little thing to throw you off balance and annoy the crap out of you. bad news really creeps up on you when you least expect it....and then does a big "TADAAAAA" in your face.

phuket, thailand. pictures!!

This picture is one of my favourites. I'm not sure what it is about this photo..

but it's captivating.

camera: canon eos 450D

Exposure: 1/80

Aperture: f5.0

Focal Length: 135mm

"If you don't know where you're going, You'll land up somewhere else"

camera: canon eos 450D

Exposure: 1/500

Aperture: f5.6

Focal Length: 80mm

"The simple things"

camera: canon eos 450D

Exposure: 1/40

Aperture: f5.6

Focal Length: 300mm

i love my blackberry

At the moment, my blackberry curve 8520 is my best friend.

Under the punches of a few buttons, I command him to wake me up for college in the morning. Not only does he wake me up in the morning, he manages my appointments and to-do's during the week, keeps me up to date with my friends around the world, attempts to predict the weather for the next few days and makes sure I'm up to date with the latest news across the continents. My trusty blackberry answers all my questions, and if need be, he provides me with the facility to check movie showtimes or help me make reservations at my favourite restaurant.

With a toy like this - who needs friends? I've replaced mine with my Blackberry Curve.

Are we strong?

I've lost count of all the nights I lay there in bed thinking to myself, "I don't want tomorrow to come, I can't deal with all of this".

We all have to let things run its course. Whether it may be easy or difficult. Sometimes its hard to tell yourself that tomorrow will be better, have faith. Believe that things will be different. But - if we work to achieve a better tomorrow, it is a step closer to enforcing positivity and optimism. It makes a difference. Our perspective and attitude towards life shape our character and eventually manifest our decisions.

When I was young, I wanted to grow up and be older. Now that I'm actually 'older' I'd rather be young again, so that I wouldn't have to face the uncertainty of life. That's exactly what life is though - actually, life is only as difficult as you choose to make it. Isn't it easier to say than to do? Yes, effort takes time to actually notice a difference. The grass always seems to be greener on the other side - wanting what you can't have.

Despite the thunderstorms and dark clouds, the sun isn't all that far away. Just believe in a better future, live unknowing, forget the past...carry an umbrella, because who knows what's going to happen tomorrow. Unfortunately, I always worry about 'what comes next?' However, the. Many 'tomorrows' are promising only if you take it with a pinch of salt.

Smile through the pain, it'll make your life just a little bit better.

Put on your shades, tomorrow is going to be a sunny day!

Hi :-)

I've been totally out of it lately. I miss writing...expressing all the things I don't get to say. It seems as though I avoid all my feelings and writing....because writing means I have to confront everything that's happening around me.

I've been undergoing some changes recently, some of which are good. The rest seems fuzzy, it's difficult to understand what exactly I'm feeling. It's odd though...you feel fine sometimes...and BOOM...major mood swings. I wish I could say that I have control over myself, and that I'm able to channel all my useless energy constructively....eventually, that never ends up happening.

Sometimes things do get tough. I'm definitely not one of those people that understands how to deal with situations appropriately. When life hands me lemons....I sulk. Not much of an optimist...if you ask me if the glass is half full, or half empty...I'd definitely say it's half empty.

So...basically I need to learn the art of PATIENCE. That's my major flaw, I have no patience. They say that good things come to those who wait....I'm not sure if I want to wait around for something good to happen....so I'm going to MAKE them happen. How's that for optimism?

Bye for now.

indifference

She closed her eyes tightly and tears began to trickle down her cheek. A million thoughts raced in her mind but she couldn't make sense of any of them. He walked towards her, slowly. He wrapped his hand around the nape of her neck, pulled her closer and brushed his lips against hers. Moist. there was a rush of excitement that brought them closer. She gazed intently into his eyes, searching for answers. Questions began to fill both their minds...Why had things come to this?

He looked back at her with a reassuring look, as if to say, 'things will be okay, i promise'. She pulled gently away from his warm embrace. It was hard for her to keep pretending that she wasn't infuriated with the state of their relationship. He didn't seem to understand the depth of what she was feeling. He thought that this time things would be different, that he could change all that had happened. It was a little too late, she was leaving, taking his heart along, and never looking back.

Time

Time:

We all don’t know how much we have of it, some take advantage of it, and we all live our lives around it.
It amazes me how much we take time for granted. We base our lives around the assumption that tomorrow will be like the day before. I wish that some sort of consistency could be guaranteed, but unfortunately these things are never in our hands. One of my friends reminded me that life is like a game of cards, you have to play the hand that you’re dealt – but what happens when you don’t know what move to make? How do you know what the right thing to do is…and more importantly, is everything based on trial and error?

I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve realized that I need to grow up. I know that it’s fun to be childish, and everything is much easier that ways, but I have to start taking responsibility for what is right in front of me. I wish it were so easy to say all these things and apply them in my life in an instant. It’s always easier said than done, I just wish it were easy right now. When I close my eyes, and open them again, nothing looks the same.

Birdwatching

Where: Hong Kong, Wetland

Camera: Canon EOS 450D

Exposure: 1/300

Aperture: f/9

Focal Length: 300mm