i have the most amazing man.

Yes I do. He exists, he is real, and he is mine.

I've spent the last week half delusional battling a terrible virus that has taken control of my body. I wish I could say that it was terrible, and that the sleepless nights that caused bags under my eyes was sickening - but this was all immaterial compared to the love that was blanketed over my helplessness.

Saturday was brutal. I was a host to a terrible sickness that made me look half-dead, took away my voice, and plagued my body with terrible aches. I managed to put half an effort into work, and skipped out of the doors as soon as my shift got over.

As soon as I made it through the doors of my house, I threw on my jammies and vegetated in front of the T.V.

My manfriend was unable to console me for the first half of the day, but swooped in for the evening shift.

He was supposed to go home that night, I think my helplessness was plastered all over my face, because he decided to spend the night watching over me.

We ate, and then cuddled and watched Richard Gere's Shall We Dance. I swooned over the romance, because I'm a big sap like that.

Not too long after the movie, sleep beckoned us, and we decided to surrender.

I lay in bed, congested, and ugly. He lay next to me, listening to my body's unease and restlessness. For every cough, he patted my back. I think he may have gotten less sleep than I, worrying about inability to just, relax, rest, and recover. I would sleep, have a cough attack and startle him awake, and repeat this routine throughout the night.

By the time morning came around, I looked over, and saw that he was finally sleeping. Peaceful. I looked at him, and relished the thought of waking up to him every morning. I can do this. Us.

I can't imagine that it gets any better than this, basking in each other's love.

My entire life has shifted, and I am finally not the center of my own universe.

I can't help but think that when things are so good, the first thing we do, is question our worthiness of this great thing that is happening to us. Unfortunately, I am guilty of doubting my worthiness of this incredible man whose love for me is greater than anything I have ever felt.

I am not me anymore without him.

While growing up, I never understood the concept of Yin and Yang. Today, I am living it. The perfect union of two entities that coexist and sustain a perfect balance.

My perfect other half, exists, and I am undeniably one of the luckiest women to roam the earth, or so he makes me feel.

so much rambling

This semester is over!

I sat in the last class of my third year journalism class, and I was completely antsy to get out and say good riddance to this semester.

I left, excited...walked in minus six degrees to my car, and then thought to myself, "what am I going to do for three weeks before the Spring semester starts?" Yea I have no idea either.

Ten days left before I embark on my journey back home - a painstaking thirty plus hours until i set foot in my beloved home and roll into my soft soft bed.

i used to take living at home for granted, and have my mom do everything for me. three years later of living on my own, i cook, clean, wash, dust, organize, and fold fitted sheets - believe it or not, that is my biggest achievement. i.can.fold.a.fitted.sheet.

my house is quiet, i can hear myself breathing. i.am.bored.

im back back back back

it has been ages since i've last written, i don't know why or what made me stop. somewhere along the way i lost my passion to just...write everything down.

reflecting over my past posts, i've noticed how much i've grown in the last couple of years. moving back to canada was the best decision i could have possibly made for myself. it feels all so right here. i've made all this happen, school, work, and my life.

i'm doing everything i can to be the best person possible, but sometimes it doesn't feel enough. sowing the seeds of my hard work and effort reflect in the results i get back, but why isn't enough to make me happy? what am i looking for?

i'm just a twenty something year old trying to find herself in this big lonely city...hoping to find my way back to self fulfilment.